Friday, October 31, 2008

Guest Post




Helllooo...
I have been deputed to write about the events of the past couple of days for the resident blogger is stressed with the end of semester details and the prospect of marking exams et essays looming on the horizon.
So it has been a crazy couple of days at Casa Flinders Street..the hyper female has been running around like a headless chook trying to meet deadlines and giving seminars, the other adult is parked in front of the TV watching cricket and dodging verbal missiles from the hyper female.

The other day was the Festival of Lights, which meant that he had to field calls from her all afternoon as she instructed him about Project Beautify Home...she was nervous that he would get the guests to vacuum and put out the food. But it was a good evening for them with friends over, yummy food and yummier gossip. I had my four paws full trying to save the lights and candles from two kids who I thought were eyeing them a wee bit too keenly. So it was parking myself in front of the candelabra or running out to the courtyard and blocking their moves.
Whew, Im sure I ran out of one of my nine lives...here are some pics that catalogue all the effort I put in.
Well goodbye sweeties,Im going into hibernation to get over the craziness of the week, hope you have a fantastic new year!! And as they say in the catworld BEFORE STARDUST STOLE IT FROM US..From one cool cat to another, meowww till next time!!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Coming Soon to a Police Chowky Quite Near You

In the docket: Qaidi number 302
After hearing me grumble about Pesho literally 'tearing' into me after a fruitless day (for her) of fly hunting (it is cloudy outside so ne'er a fly or bug on the horizon), Gman very sympathetically said "Yeh scratches...yeh tau domestic abuse hai'. Yes we have to very clearly spell out to our cat that she cannot pounce on me every time she is bored and wants someone to 'rough-house' with.
"(To) Violence against women--Australia Says No".

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Notes to Self

* God will NOT (hopefully) hold you to any promises made that you will name your first-born Amit Mishra (irrespective of gender)if he manages to get that next wicket.
* After the never ending silly grin on face while watching the latest Obama video-phone in on the Ellen DeG show (and him challenging McCain re: his dancing prowess) I guess I could do a Zardari as well (You are GAARGEOUS, can I hug you?).
And that it will be border-line incestous to go along with the plan of naming said first-born Barack as well.
* News of Palin's wardrobe budget (or lack of any budget)-it is USD $150,000 and counting at a time when the US economy is frankly not doing so well-should shut up anyone passing rude comments on whether I should be spending money on catfood when there are people starving on the streets.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Signs of the Times

Number one sign that you need to take out the primer and start practicing speaking 'South Asian' again.
Gman who has missed the last dismissal as he has been busy fixing dinner " So what happened? How did the wicket go".
Me: Woh us kee bailey off kar dee
He is still waiting for me to explain that.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

The Inquisition

No one expects The Spanish Inquisition claimed Monty Python some years ago, but if you are South Asian every one expects and braces themselves mentally for The Great Auntie Inquisition. Mina had her list up and well quite like her when I started composing my comment I realised that it deserved a post of its own.

So it is the same (give or take a question or two) for 'desis in diaspora' ...it starts with

Who do you live with (My cat I reply)..
Quite unfazed they continue
Family hai?

Are you a Perm Resident?

Why havent you taken up citizenship yet haw haiii? (Major shock hand on chest,in a manner Lahori aunties should patent)

Mummy milney aatee hai, when did your Mother In Law last visit(Actually no they are all in the detention centre)

Do you know Mr Chaudhry? WHY NOT? they are from the same city as you? (umm because my family didnt explore my being a daakiya postie as a potential job option)

No one told us that you were planning on starting a family? (Sorry, I so wanted to sms you when Project Conception started, but I was out of mobile credit)

Where will the cat sleep? (Yes, somehow everyone wants to know our sleeping arrangements for some reason)

Did you watch the latest episode of Aus Idol? WHY NOT?

Why do you want to go home now? How come you have a headache? Kafee healthy tau ho...emphasis on the healthy, as in arent we quite chubby. You dont like all this dieting shieting business like other women na.
Bitchiness is an auntie in heels.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Aneela's Wish List

The list does change (for obvious reasons) over time. For quite some time I wanted the ‘previously only seen in films/TV dramas’ disease. You know the kind where the kindly doctor steps out of your room and whispers to your family. May ney injection laga diya hai,abhi mareez so rahee hai. Inko bahut araam ke zaroorat hai. Inko khush rakhney kee koshish karey. Sighhh, this would be a useful bug to contract when you have a really bad report card that needs to be signed by your mother.

What I am hoping for in recent times is:

1) Some kind of repository that itemizes all objects like bills, important documents, conversations that I have had with Gman, so he never says things like ‘Nooo, you never gave your tax statement to me’(bling...Oct 9, 9am Ms Babar handed it over to you over breakfast) and ‘No, you always imagine giving me your mobile bill to file’(buzz...ghalat jawab) and ‘You absolutely didn’t tell me that I had to drop off Pesho at the vet’(paaaamp... the repository plays back that conversation)

2) Strobe lights, blaring alarms every time Pesho tries taking a dump in my precious pansies (rather than her litter tray) and has the audacity to ‘deny’ it when confronted with the evidence.


Who me, in the pansies? It was you sleep walking I swear.

3) An instant tattoo for Gman every time he does something on the list of ‘not to dos’...oh I so sympathize with the group of wastrels who tattooed a young Vijay in Deewar. ‘This man did not put the toilet seat down’ permanently branded on his forearm will ‘ink in’ the message very well, will it not?

Anything else you want to add to that?

Friday, October 10, 2008

Got sweets?

Sad sad day for thullas every where. I am horrified to hear that in Islamabad a police guard actually led a bomber to his target. He was told by the young man that he had some mithai (sweets) to deliver to the police centre. Of all the....
For the love of a laddoo a kingdom was lost, sigh.

In Bangalore, police men and women were caught napping with their mouths agape on camera...yup that was one power(less) nap on my TV screen during the cricket. Heads lolling, one with cotton wool stuffed in his ears (all the better to hear the prowler creeping up on you), some slumped on the seats in front of them. Feels good that our (in)security is in such good hands in recent times.

And in Melbourne, if you report a license plate being stolen (personal experience) you are assured by the guy behind the counter, that if this is the EXTENT of one's losses living in the city, to count myself lucky. Sighhh. Gman and his friend who reported a stolen trailer were told the English equivalent of "yeh tau roz ka mamool hai" as in take a chill pill these things happen.

But I think the laddoo lusting guard is a winner, hands down. What do you think?

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Quriks can tell a tale on you

The first mangoes of the season are here...it could be a sign of my FINALLY reconciling to Australia life that I bought them and quite enjoyed them (as compared to other years when I would wrinkle my nose and declare that THEY cannot be real mangoes as they do not have any desi sun on them). Khair mangoes have never been an obsession for me--peaches, nectarines, papayas yes.

However being away from home I have started craving for fruits, food stuff that were never high on my list and start screaming like a little girl when I find something which gets it right. Qeema samosas like the Aga Khani make them. So in recent weeks Ive been gorging on pomegranate, the other day I was excited to find dried figs and pine nuts (chalghozey) in a Turkish food store...memories of kindly old batmen bringing gifts from their hometowns in Gilgit come flooding back.

I broke into the packet in the car home and as I was shoving the figs down my throat like there was no tomorrow, Gman commented on how I like food stuff with a little grit in it (case in point figs, pomegranate, sprinkling shaved almonds on rice, pine nuts and walnuts in salads and on halva)

and Im nodding "Wow you notice so much about me" ** Hallmark moment, sigghhh, he knows me so well**

Ruined by his next observation "I guess that is the same reason you never wash the spinach and dal, you want me to savour the grit in THAT too right?" DRAT.

Monday, October 06, 2008

Tagged-Obsessions and Confessions

So IHM has tagged me regards my 'obsessions'..ummm do I need tell? For what has all the evidence been pointing towards over the years:
*Ive been said to declare when friends congratulated me on my new purchase "it aint a TV if Urmila isnt dancing on it" (this when I bought my first TV and realised that the satellite connection in my BKK apartment didnt allow Indian channels).
* The only reason I finished the Phd was to prove to mom and disapproving relatives that a lifetime of watching Bollywood and TV does AMOUNT to something (Ive sneaked that somewhere in the acknowledgments )....my proudest moment when an aunt finally sidled up and asked me "how I did it"...you know my "achievements" so far..to which I smugly said Oh EVERYTHING I have learnt in life was courtesy Bollywood, only topped by said aunt lining up the grand children in front of the tele "now go memorize John Abraham's filmography".
* I am the one who googles for every little bit of film trivia...when Goldie Behl inferred that Karisma and Kareena were his cousins at the Drona premiere...that was me googling for the precise connection. I also have a "standing" agreement with my sister that we can wake each other up at ANY time of the night for the niggling questions of (film related) life (Neeley Neeley Amber Par is the soundtrack to ?, who went "Pallo" in a movie and ruined three years of a good crush, which one was Anita Raj and which one Amrita Singh)...you know the drill...what is remarkable about the "pact" is that it has survived the "great sister wars" as well...yup three weeks of ignoring each other and you can call up at 2am and get an answer to the Baazigar catchphrase.
* When someone asks me whether I want a boy or a girl...or whether I want my 'prospective children' to think of themselves as South Asians first or Aussies, all I have to say is "I wish they are healthy and really LOVE Bollywood...and yes good-mannered". They can streak their hair blonde, tattoo themselves silly and support the Aus cricket team but I will be heart broken if they shrug their shoulders and say "we really dont know what the big deal about SRK is"..
Phew and the list goes on.

When Im not watching/dreaming/living Bollywood I obsess myself with political trivia...you know the magazine supplements that come out at the time of elections listing political constituencies and voting trends, they are for me. I can debate till the cows come home about small town India and shifting political alliances, why PPP is going to lose that seat in Vehari-1, and whether Sheikh Rashid and Laloo Yadav share a speech writer.

I also spend a fair amount of time deciphering my cat's facial expressions...a recent email tells me that most women actually do that...so Im not alone.

Read my lips...I am not vacating the sofa any time soon.

And I have this funny quirk about straightening carpet tassels and putting down carpets et rugs at an angle.

Now I am supposed to pass on this tag to 8 people...I think Kiran has already done this,
so its Unmana,
Parul (if she has not already posted on this),
MayG,
kAy,
Jammie,
Khizzy
Chandni
Radhika
and the other Kiran in my life.

IHM does assure us that:
Tags are not compulsory, feel free to ignore if you don't wish to do one. But tags are also a fun & easy way to know more about your blogging friends:)

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Jhoom Barabar Jhoom-Part Deux

So...tonight's the night eh..Palin takes on Biden...husan aur jazbat ka haseen kashmakash...a beautiful play on beauty versus grave emotions..(if they were ever to make a movie on them in our part of the world)..actually why this disclaimer. I have been very candid all these years that everything I have learnt in life was probably scripted in a movie studio out in Mumbai..long before I could go through Focault 'nature vs nurture' I had been lapping up Raj Kapoor et Awara 'Shareefon ki aulaad hamesha shareef aur chor daakuon ki aulaad hamesha chor daaku hote hain." (Good progeny for the genteel, thieves robbers only beget thieves robbers).

So if this was a Bollywood movie...how would I envision the scene...lemme think. A beautiful headstrong young woman (GARGEOUS, bellows Zardari behind me) takes on an 'established' senior gentleman who rose from an impoverished background to a distinguished station in life. Wellll, it could be played by a Hema Malini (McCain is quite a doting star mother as he coaches a petulant 'heroine' to mug her lines for the performance of her lifetime..'chal Rani parh ley liney' Cmon Princess you can memorize those dialogues) While the Punjab (sorry an Irish from Penn) da puttar Dharmendra strides on the stage "Sarah tera naam kiya hai Sarah".

All with the Jhoom Barabar theme song playing in the background

Happy watching!!!

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

And this is How I Welcome the 'Festive' Season

Ok...October promises to be a 'jhakaas' month fingers crossed (yes one of the perils of being on an on-off bed rest means EXTENDED youtube time so lately it has been an overdose of Sajid Superstars..I tremble with trepidation re: the upcoming technicians strike and probably the loooong TV-less days).

Eid this week...we are all either fasting or feasting to death...and yeaahh the Durga Puja weekend coming up which is one day in the Melbourne calendar where you can bring out the inner Chandramukhi/Paro and no one judges you...and then there is Pesho's birthday (yup, Im THAT kind of cat mommie)...it is the same day as Nephew/Musketeer Numero 3's...so its a double festivity, both brothers celebrating their 'first-born' I say, hee hee.

And yes the month starts with the anni. which was not that bad either.

And then spring is settling in...so what if it means the Melbourne gales are back and there is a nip in the air.. one can smell the fresh flowers, hear the crackle of a million hay fever tab packs being unwrapped, the songs of birds and the hiss of inhalers being drawn in....happy happy days are here.

Ok, so October 1 (Eid day) dawned with a Pesho nudging and nibbling me gently 4am...tres difficult to explain to the cat that the sehri gravy train has stopped and no one is getting up to prepare the morning meal and slip her some treats..so she mewoed in indignation and I dived under the comforter to grab some shut eye.

The day was good..ever since the arrival of the pelvic support belt I thought it was bye bye salwar kamiz and helloooo saris to hide the bulge, but (and for this I will remove the hex from a tailor back home) the tent he had sewn me on my last trip and for which my mother had to drag me nails scratching along the floor does camouflage the granny belt nicely, double yeahhhh...so with the requisite bling it was off to the annual dinner where you meet all the aunties who greet you and say 'we have met earlier havent we' and you mumble 'yes right here an year ago'...and kisses in the air...'we MUST catch up'...'yeah sure, same place next year...miltey hain break kay baad' .

Gman didnt have any good reports from the other side of the divide as an elderly Bengali guy quizzed him about this new 'fatwa call centre' and what he thought of what good Muslims should do when it comes to the direction of prayers, timing of et al considering they have discovered ice on Mars (and probably THAT means mass migration for all Bangladeshis)....sigh I dont know how he does it, he was so diplomatic..I would have wrestled the guy to the ground and told him to GET REAL. But the food was EXCELLENT and my goodie bag topped even that...for this I turn up each year (and also that the hostess is a sweet heart)...problematic geriatrics be overlooked.

Gman did take the day off yesterday as he had on the anni and both days we pottered around our home and the place we are renovating ...I wonder what the 'dewy eyed aneela' from a decade ago would have made of me now..married (now that was never part of the plan) and 'romantic love' a couple of years after marriage ..but as I watched Gman struggling in the courtyard with pesky weeds and flower pots as he knew how much it meant to me to have a 'shiny new' house for the festive season...I realised that there is more than one way to celebrate the anniversaries of the heart ...so if spring cleaning is the new champagne and roses, well let me get high on that!!

Have a great week everyone and may it be all flowers and fizz for you too!!!!!