I know that even with the best of intentions (and my declaring to anyone who asks me what I expect of you is that I want a child at peace with himself and the world with no inclination to land in a rubber dinghy on any shore) there might be a day in the future when I will say something along the lines of
"I wish you would...." ..."Mama will love you if...."
or even a
" You made me so happy when you..."
So for all those days (though I am guarding myself against them) I want to remember this Friday...its week 34 and I was watching you all teary eyed on the ultrasound. As the doctor and the technician were going gaga over the eyelashes (the dad's-- I have four eye lashes, six before I started wearing contacts) I could only stare at the screen enraptured (the baby also has the dad's pakoda nose but we will love it anyway). ..you clever clever baby nazar na lagey.
For a while I wanted to just stay in the moment, before an avalanche of EXPECTATIONS descend upon us..
isn't the baby born yet ...such delay doesn't bode well,
are you sure it can hold his head,
is he toilet trained,
ours was talking by now,
what about schools
so when one day I start scolding you to study harder, eat more greens, play more sports, listen to your parents I want you to remind me of this particular moment, when life was easier, simpler.. where just by ' sprouting' a decent set of eye lashes and poking your chubby finger in your nose (sigh!! yes that was embarrassing but SO cute at the same time) you could enrapture a room and make your mother so proud and so teary. Kisses little one, and I cant wait to meet you now.