Tuesday, January 06, 2009

When My Comments Become Posts

Asaan blogged about this ..and it merited a reply.

So the whole of Oz (and sections beyond) are agog about the latest episode of 'hitting below the belt' (well I have been pretty late in posting about it and all the clever references had been taken). Now a teeny tiny bit of me will draw comparisons with the many many ' crimes of passion' our (read South Asian) men commit and later declare as a case of redeeming their honour, and I might say to our men "well welcome to the club" ...but I know its wrong...yes, yes I will marvel at the changing nature of 'embodied sexual violence' in Pakistan..on my last visit home I heard of a young woman who had done it to a paramour who had been cheating on her and how her fit of pique had been "understood" and "incorporated" in the community's "stories of self"...to the extent that conductors on the public transport route would refer to the bus stop near her house as "the Bobbit (actually the desi equivalent of) bus stop".

And then there was a husband taking a second wife with the first wife not very keen on the idea, but he wasnt listening , so she did a Zakhmi Aurat on him before he left for the nikah ceremony. And of course Aneela being Aneela I was wondering ( the news report kind of petered off after offering these details) what was transpiring in the shaadi ka ghar.For one I can imagine the maulvi going through the section in the nikahnama that confirms the first wife's permission and saying something along the lines of "Phir may na hee samjhoo?" (so I take it as NO?)

Public culture in South Asia has not been very kind towards women avenging their honour..anyone remember the Zakhmi Aurat I refer to? if you thought the movie lacked in good taste, I wish you could catch the Pakistani cover "Haseena Atom Bomb"...my eyes my eyes....Dimple K's coterie had scalpels, Mussarat had GARDEN SHEARS!!! Ive linked synopsis for both...go read!!
So my take on the issue? Citizen justice, vigilante justice, it is a slippery slope...and DEFINITELY not for our communities, we are not mature enough...actually not for anyone.Sorry...

And my next "comment that became a post" IHM on the 'blogging process'...Ok, so when I started this blog it was with the intention of having a 'forum' where I could moderate an exchange on public memory of non-violence in South Asia, it was a work thing...but the uni was not keen on the 'ethics' of using a blog...so it became an online 'archive' for some of my op/eds and a travel diary...eventually that petered off too and it became a scrap book project at best. Enter the 'site under development'. Now I am as you all know an ardent devotee of all things Bolly, and my social training declared that I have the mandatory eight letters for eight years ala Rani in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai (if I am to kick the bucket during the 'creation' process)...khair I dont think I will have the time then (nor will I look as well groomed as she did in the hospital bed) so I thought I should have a forum where the kid in question would know my 'stories' as in what makes Aneela tick..and that is why this blog has more or less steered cleared of the 'larger questions of life'..for my political, ideological, theological views the kid can read my published research theek hai or my columns (when I have the energy to send them in). But I did not want the kid to be struggling about the 'every day questions' about me. For I did. I lost my dad when I was three and though over the years I have posed the odd question to his siblings, a friend, my mom but these were THEIR standpoints, their stories and how 'they wanted to remember him' and well we all have an occupational hazard of 'rewriting history' when the party in question is deceased...

I am not sure if I have explained myself here, frankly I wanted VINTAGE Aneela bak bak out there in the public domain for the consumption of ONE particular reader..So this is how I write a blog post IHM, I filter out the 'larger questions' and write all that might appear as the 'mundane observations' about life
to you my dear reader, but should hopefully be particularly helpful to a little soul (though fingers crossed I hope to be around for a LONG LONG time) who might just wonder about my life, loves and something along those lines.


  1. LOL @ the Zakhmi aurat and atom bombs !!! I agree that all kind of vigilantism is dangerous.
    And I also wrote a diary and lots of letter for the baby with similar thoughts!!! And I also wrote regular accounts of their antics, milestones, conversations, ...
    You will have a lot of fun reading them out when the baby is old enough. I wrote a post on what happened when my daughter found one such diary ...
    It was worth it!

  2. I havent watched Zakhmi Aurat. off to request it at the library.

    About the kids reading the blog, I dont know whether I want mine to read it. The oldest is 9 now and surfs the Internet regularly. You gave me something to think about... Maybe I should go and pswd protect the posts I dont want my child to read.. Sheesh I am now leaving blog like comments

  3. IHM: thanks for the link...and yes its important to have documentary proof that they were 'loved from the beginning'...I was like that when it came to the niece and nephews (wanted to archive EVERYTHING I did) so if one day they turned around and said ' how come you are being so nosy' I could have something to show.
    Asaan: umm Zakhmi Aurat is pretty ' graphic' OK, not very pleasant ' happy families' watching BE WARNED.
    and plllleaaaase do keep leaving blog-like comments.

  4. We'll make a mommy blogger out of you yet, Aneela! And you will be around to attend your grandchildren's weddings. But I do get the spirit:)

  5. Haseena Atim Bum OMG loved loved loved the poster!

  6. Where can I get a copy of Haseena Atim Bum!!! MUST SEE!!!

  7. Cut/pasting my comment from Another K's blog:

    It started out as a Pushto movie ...but it was such a big hit, that it was dubbed and re-released in Urdu et al (and a Noor Jehan no less belted a Hasseeeeena ATOM BUM for it, TAKE THAT LATA)...its basically about a " wronged" woman seeking vengeance with a set of garden shears and I think a giant syringe...I havent watched it, was not "old" enough or " male" enough for the video store wallah to lend it...but it is part of Pakistani public culture ....so should look for a DVD on my trips home one of these days.

  8. It's a good enough excuse for me to visit Pakistan too :) Thanks for the education!


Your call is important to us. Please remain on the line while a customer care rep gets back to you.