Dear ABR also known as GS,
I know that one day this too will pass...one fine morning I will not be (fingers crossed!) wiping your vomit off everything within your range (raise your hand, whoever thinks the constant assurance "making curd is a good sign" is only a conspiracy to make a harried mother less hassled about the sheer ickiness of it)..I will not be massaging your back and your tummy of whatever evil that lurks within your stomach. That I will no longer think dark thoughts of whether my life would have been less complicated if I had decided to raise you on formula and grown old never knowing what 'latching problems', 'let down', 'sudden cold triggering vasospasm' ever meant. Of every morning not being an obstacle race of expressing for Thursday, cleaning up after you, feeding, putting you to sleep, house keeping and catching up with what is happening in the world.
I am now convinced that the only thing you got from the Pakistani side of the family is the 'politician's disposition'...a fact that was drummed into us very recently when I realised that it is only a call from your grand mother in Rawalpindi cantt (where Rawalpindi Cantt also happens to be GHQ for the uninitiated) that shuts you up when you are throwing a tantrum. Sigh, as a generation of politicians before and after you have learnt, when Rawalpindi calls you better start toeing the line.
But amongst all this insanity there are moments which remind me of the power of the 'human will' ...when after a fortnight of my adamantly typing away with one finger while you chomped at my breast and wriggled in my lap I did manage to complete a journal article. Your smug smile while you snuggle into my shoulder (having broken me down into not putting you into the crib).
For the life of us we cannot fathom why you are OK shuttling between crib and cot during the day but will scream blue murder when we put you down in the cot at night, and how you will only sleep when you are in the bed with me (actually sleeping on top of me)...I dont know whether to believe the lobby "you cant spoil the kid before they are three months old" or those who are telling me that the baby's sleep habits are set from week one. And Im miserable that with all that is wrong with the world this is what should consume my nights...so you might become a night owl like me, if that is the extent of my 'legacy' , so be it.
Yesterday night Gman told me that if it makes arhaan happy sleeping with me, to allow him that, he will learn to sleep on his own some day...he doesnt know of any 50 year old who cant sleep on their own. Me, Im worried that I might be raising you into entering unsuitable relationships just because you are scared to go to bed alone.
On 'lighter' topics I have been tagged by Mimi to put up a picture from my folder...so I am putting it up:
This is 'technically' Gman's pic as he had used my laptop to download some pics from his camera...its of Geneva or as Europe is referred to in Parul's household @###ing Geneva. The reason for my ire? I find it bloody unfair that its me who has spent a lifetime consuming Yash Chopra and its the philistine Gman who gets to cavort in the vales of Switzerland every year...Ok wrong choice of words...for the life of me I cannot imagine Gman cavorting..angry furrowed brow as he plans the logistics of Sri Devi crossing the meadows, yes..we have tried so many times to get me to accompany him, but our plans are always jinxed. But I will persevere...Switzerland ki vaadiya may aa rahee hoon. I also hate Geneva for every time Gman is there something crazy happens...our home floods, land lord gives us moving orders, Pesho falls sick.
Ok Im going to cheat and put up the fourth pic from the fourth folder that has MY pics:
its one of me and my mom and arhaan (as site under construction) in gold coast last year...yup, a slice of Nepal in good ol' Oz.