Monday, October 26, 2009

Baar Baar Dekho Hazaar Baar Dekho

ke dekhne ki cheez hai hamari Katrina Kaif...taali ho.

As we draw closer to the day you turn nine months old, this could be the soundtrack to meal times. No TV watching for baby, huh who sedddatt? We have long got down off that high horse. Right around the time when we started petitioning Cerelac to put Katrina Kaif's picture on the cereal box. Katrina Kaif ka secretary might not have prayed that hard she stays in business and uskey gaaney chaley on every channel jitna Ive been praying to the media gods to play her songs in a loop come dinner time. The first time you laid eyes on the comely maiden you went

Duhh I Thought I Saw a Puddy Cat?
No Puddy Cat nahee beta, Kat...corrected your mom gently.

You stare at her mouth agape and it has been very easy to shovel the food in.

The kabhi khushi kabhi gham temperamental Chayya has been joined by the cheerful Shaguni. She has literally been the good news of my angsty month so far. She was hired to cook some but mostly help out with you. However she is doing everything but that as your mother is still struggling with The Rules of (Dis)engagement when it comes to you. I had told myself that I will feed and change you , the dad will continue with Giving Baby A Bath and general uff how much i miss baby at work routine and Madam Shaguni could amuse the baby while I am at my writing table. But it seems so tempting to join in in all the fun when you are playing with her. Im new at this. My mother was lucky as she belonged to the mother's club that came with family crone and waisey bhee they were sensible types who didnt stress that much about constructive play and led their lives while baby played in the corner. Im trying to get there but you make it so so hard. Your father could tell that we needed help, as you were just not the kind of baby who could " make his own entertainment", I was pretty vehement that I didnt need someone full time as I dont want my privacy compromised. Your dad parroted the privacy hypothesis when friends suggested getting help until I realised that people might think we have quite the swinging lifestyle that we want to keep private....we are very very boring I swear. So enter Shaguni the 8 to 4 types who could make life pretty easy for me if I let her. She has been quite the Kitchen Queen and has been whipping up one culinary feast after the other . Yes with her and Katrina in my corner we will fatten you up pretty soon. And Im hoping the universe (and all you who comment on this blog out there) could help me with my other questions. Will you ever become independent? Who is responsible for what when it comes to the help and me? Will I ever lose my weight---I must be the only mother who gained weight AFTER having the baby.

I hope you do realise that I have made no reference to the Annus Horribilis Pakistan has suffered so far...let some days be just about you and not my personal demons. And its a small concession after all that you have done to cheer me up in such gloomy times. I realise that the speed with which you pick up things to make me laugh might be an attempt on your part to compensate for all that makes me sad. Your recent trick has been to push your tongue against your lower lip and push out your mouth making the most grotesque monkey face ever. But oh so cute. You are a wise kid and want no documentary proof to be used against you in future switching to smiley faces when I whip out a camera.
I hope your mother and some 180,808,000 people who share your genetic pool get their act together and give you a safer and happier tomorrow.
All my prayers,


  1. How can you make me laugh and cry in the same post?
    They all grow up, they do become independent.
    Enjoy him as much as you can.

  2. I agree he will become independent sooner than you think and then i will ask you how is that independence working out for you Madame? :)
    Don't worry about the weigth it will go away(albeit slowly).
    Sigh what can i say about Pakistan except ,"Fi Amman Allah".

  3. Katrina is still making small babies eat? All IS well with the world. Or will be.

  4. No babe, I gained weight after baby no.2...and I still am...and I am still using the, "But I JUST had a baby" line.

    Hmmmm? 3rd birthday? Yes, yes, so? In my time line, 3 years is still 'just'.

    God bless Katrina for her service!

    God bless the adorable little rosogolla in the white dhoti! Good enough to eat, I tell you!!


Your call is important to us. Please remain on the line while a customer care rep gets back to you.