Wednesday, December 30, 2009

woh shaam kuch ajeeb thee

Jammie had very sweetly sent this tag across the other day and as I have been going through a blog-block lately I got down to attempting it with great gusto. Good good, just what one needs to get the creative juices flowing. Until I started looking at my responses that is. Hmm Best Trip..oh that should be the first road trip with Arhaan, wasnt that fun. Best Restaurant Moment...oh wasnt it fun when the baby nahee cut that cut that. Blog Find of the Year: Oh thats easy Highheel Confidential (Gotcha!! you were expecting Babycentre type na). Best Challenge..Any Guesses?!! Major depression. It is a sad sad day when one realises that there will come a day when the only 'remarkable' personal memories would be that of the baby and you. I keep on asking myself if that is ALL that occupies me? Growing up we would read of the parrot that held the " life of the jinn" , get parrot annihilate jinn. Quite a clever way to teach us that the mightiest amongst us could be brought down by being attached to something quite puny (whether in size or matter of priorities)...not so nice for parrots though. Frankly if he is this happy having yum cha should you judge me if my BEST restaurant memories from the year are of meals with him?

Arhaan shouldnt become that parrot, there should be more to him than being the only reason for my happiness. Too big a load for too tiny a shoulder, no?

Confession time. There are days when you might resent your life with kid. Yes Im taking the R word. I have had such days. I have also been confronted with Emote Icon Envy. And that is saying a lot as Im from the School of ' Nazar Na Lagey'. People from my part of the world are just one step away from unhappiness, living a life of 'proximity politics' and what not. Life is Snake and Ladders. So you hold on to what you have, for fear of attracting the evil eye. You are grateful every living moment for small mercies and smaller misfortunes. But there was an afternoon in Brisbane not so long ago when I was hit with a double whammy of resentment and envy. For quite some time I have been the "golden girl with golden halo" and I was not one to share that platform. For the first time in my life the focus shifted from me. There was someone at the conference who was brighter than me. She was more articulate, more together and she was not worrying like me what the baba and bub would be up to. For a good part of the day I wish I had come to the conference on my own, that I could give undivided attention to what was happening around me and not be preoccupied with Gman and Arhaan. The other woman who was way way smarter than me had left her kid behind and well frankly she was more 'together' in other ways as well and she was a lawyer, something which I always thought I WOULD BE (this was right after I finished my Phd. Wasnt I was supposed to be studying husband thinks its a ruse to be a professional student). Anyways after the workshop was over Gman and me discovered that we had a whole day to kill before we took the flight to Singapore we decided to walk around the city and introduce Arhaan to the 'fake beach' at South Bank. arhaan had been too young to enjoy it when we had come down in July, and it had been too cold . Plus, I always thought it was kind of ridiculous to have a fake beach what with there being a fairly decent coast half an hour away. Bringing Arhaan to Brisbane this time. Best decision ever. And going to South Bank. It was a hoot to see Arhaan enjoy the water, and play in the sand. I know this reads like an episode of a sitcom. Conflict, envy, rhona dhona followed by Resoultion. But it was a bit like that. And I realised that I do like travelling with baby. And we have nice photographs as well. Which I will show him on a number of occasions in the future. And remind him how over and over again how cool a mom I was taking him every where as a kid.

But flash bulb moment aside, one still has evenings where you question the roads you took, the opportunities you decided to forgo. And then you turn towards your partner in crime and grill him. Sadly, Gman is pretty pragmatic and reminds me the reason Im so lonely is that " tumharey standards kafee high hain". Which I think sounds very mean when I write it but it was very funny when he said it. Something about having a merit list when it comes to befriending people. And re: my money woes that it is a bit unrealistic to have very expensive tastes and not liking the idea of going to work at the same time. I asked him where I went wrong, considering we both have similar educational backgrounds and well he has money and emmm I dont. He thinks I have always worked where the heart is (and ahem not where the green is). And well he said the money is in the private sector not the academia. And reminded me again that I didnt like corporate life did I? Sad sad situation. Which brings me to Private Fantasy Numero 1. Oh to be back in the times of the monarchy, rajas maharajas you know. When one was paid to think. I am pretty sure Akbar didnt tell Abul Fazal or Raja Toda Mal " Sorry because of the recession we cant fund your discipline any more" Or Vikramaditya ask of Kalidas " Hmm proposal looks great but ethics clearance seems iffy". Or was Raja Man Singh ever told " Sorry yeh tau is on our list of proscribed organizations". Sighhhhh. But then there were drawbacks to this as well I guess. Today they may just turn down your proposal, in times of yore if they didnt like what you suggested they might throw you in the dungeons, off with your head. " Na Maqool Galileo, the Earth DOES NOT move get it". So quite a fun fun evening it turned out yesterday, with all the home truths. Out of the mouth of the Baba (and the babe).

And it goes without saying that having Arhaan around has made 2009 bearable. I shudder to imagine how I would have gone through the year without him. Last year when I closed the door to 2008 it was with the hope that I will open it to only let in the good. Sadly like the flies your mother warns you about when you open that door its just not the good, but the bad and the ugly flying in as well. Otherwise Clint Eastwood film kaisey banata?

If it was not for Arhaan I would have ended this post by posting a link to:
Disclaimer: Thats not Junoon in the video.

And we would all remember the time we sat in front of the mirror and tried to think of something sad sa when we were 12 and crunch up our face and cry and comb our hair and think dukhi dukhi thoughts and find meanings in the lyrics. Today, we listen to Khwaab and think of times gone by, people not around. I was thinking about this song on December 27th. Damn Geo for playing videos of Benazir with Bilawal and playing the Maa song from Tare Zameen Par in the background. I surprised myself by crying for her as never before. Geo kindly cut to Zardari and his coterie at her death anniversary ceremony and the merry widower was grinning quite maniacally even for him. And it was a major Beygani Ki Shaadi Par Abdullah Deewana moment for me.

And I remembered that while we were crying listening to Khwaab, we were also grooving to this song at our first proper birthday parties. So Arhaan, please listen to it every time you think your mother is too serious for her own good.
Long live Mithunda.
Happy New Year all of you and please pray for me and mine when you raise that glass.

Monday, December 28, 2009

zindagee imtihan leytee hai

and if not life, then you start watching your baby like a hawk once you approach Month Eleven with Bub. Arhaan turns eleven months day after, and though we had decided we were parents who would not get into the Milestones Melee but there is something about him being nearly an year old that gets you in a frenzy.

***The other day we met this baby who is the same age as Arhaan and the grown ups did not fail from reminding us how he has started speaking. I asked Gman later what the mother does
" She is in the police".
We laughed till we literally cried. Sure their baby can talk, ve haff ways of making you talk. Im surprised the baby has not confessed to the Great Train Robbery by now.

***I am very confused regarding Arhaan and milestones. I wish Babycenter and all could make their markers-- well more contemporary, so we know if we are on the mark. Now if they were to write that by month eleven your baby will be able to unlock your mobile phone and take the battery out we will know we are getting somewhere. Or that babies are now able to distinguish the bum remote from the good one, and that they look at you with disdain when you fling a remote on the floor to distract them from the laptop. May aaj bhi phenka hua paisa aur remote nahee uthatha. They should also write something about babies being now able to have favourite jingles and abandoning important tasks such as flinging food across the room, chewing on their toes and pulling their parents' hair to watch the TV screen with avid attention.

Arhaan has learnt how to clap which makes us feel really good as now he has something for his resume. He can now be put to work as " appreciative audience", " enthu qawwal humnawa" and "mosquito killer".

He can also order in food.

***This year the Islamic New Year and 2010 overlap by a fortnight or so. Salam Ma'al Hijrah to you and yours. I shouldn't complain as the past year saw the Good Lord blessing me with gifts beyond my imagination, however it has not been the best of times for our part of the world. Anyways here is hoping that we get out of these "interesting times" as soon as possible.

I am not that big on grand resolutions...Waadey aksar toot jaate hain, Koshish kaamyaab ho jati hain' and all but I hope that I can write more in the coming year. I was complaining to Gman how Arhaan is a major chipkoo and how it is about time he becomes more "emotionally independent" and let me be. Well the other day, arhaan just started playing on his own and then napped till noon (I of course spent that time surfing the net and watching TV--it just wont do to spend it constructively will it?). I'm wondering whether Arhaan heard us ala Shakti? as long as it doesn't end on a runway one evening, a little bit of eavesdropping on the part of the child does wonders for child behaviour modification.
If nothing else, I hope I post my travel notes from last month, some enthu cutlet has hers up from just a fortnight ago and it JUST WONT DO to be caught napping.

***We also watched 24---yes we are a bunch of Late Latifs this way, somehow I was very anti the conspiracy theory type programs for a while, and finally succumbed. So we watched Season 7 over the long weekend, and were blown away. We have applied some of our new found knowledge to pamper duty. Agent R we have a situation developing. We were also really embarrassed by our cavalier attitude towards how time is speeding by. Yara, Jack Bauer does so much in his day---it is about time I get out of my rut. So what have you done today? Acha if nothing else can you guess which movie this (amended) dialogue is from

(Me sleep in the travel cot?) Good joke, second joke.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Wada Din Mubarak!!!

There is a camel not reindeer at my door

the marzipan tastes more sandesh, the baby would rather listen to Jingle Balley on a loop (damn you Nicklodeon).
But there is no denying it, it does seem like the festive season is upon us.

The bottom line is ...its a Merry Christmas indeed

The Love Jihad----bringing it to one Christmas Tree at a time.

P.S: a shout out to Masooma for the lovely Christmas outfit.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Dus Bahane Kar Ke

khair not actually ten months...ten and a half to be precise , however my repertoire of all things Bolly has failed to come up with anything that will mark the "half" milestone.

What will stay with me from the past six weeks?

Your gift of companionship as we explored cities.. some familiar, some new. And your sigh of relief as you finally had your beloved steamed apple after one breakfast too many of hash browns and beans.

You are finally moving..not exactly crawling in the classic sense, but swimming. It is quite funny to see you moving both arms in perfect synchronization and gliding your torso along. But whatever gets you moving baby. We discovered that we were doing it all wrong when we would ask you to move towards Baba or your mother sitting on either ends of the bed. Clearly what gets you moving is the TV remote. Michael Phelps meets Speedy Gonzales. We have something brand new to amuse us every evening, moving the remote and watching a flash of onesies making a bolt across the room. Our own "reality" TV show, literally making our own entertainment.

Your quizzical smile and the look in your eyes as you would tilt your head to a side, you sure about that, as I abandoned spoons to feed you with my hand at times, made you take your bath in a sink , stripping you down to your pampers when the mercury hit 42. Were we such creatures of habits, sweetheart? had your young life already become one of routine? I am making amends, precious.

You have gifted me new friends sweetheart. If it were possible to "genetically design" a good friend, and my meetings (and staying over ) with my blog friends are anything to go by, well the future of smart design and its likes looks good !! I have been shy in the past of discussing my "blog friends" meet ups, at the risk of it sounding like cyber world tourism meets tabloid voyeurism. But I think I am getting to a point when I can write about them in a manner that is not On the Fifth Day we Saw the Natives execute traditional Rain Making rituals. What will stay with me is how Parul, the Mad Momma, Kiran and their lovely families are a community of Do-ers. As in when they see something that irks them they actually roll up their sleeves and get into it. Whether its home renovation and Project Beautification, water conservation, energy saving, public service or Bringing Up the Well Behaved Child. I know that a lot goes on in the world and our lives that irks Gman and me, but to date we have believed thinking it aloud
Man, those glaciers are melting fast

or just telling each other
Do you think Arhaan's head is a tad flat

was enough. Biiiiingggg, Ghalat Jawab..we are the weakest link and we need to clean up our act.

And we meet friends old (Trishna) and new (Unmana). Lovely lovely people all. And proof that there is truth in advertising. As they write so they are.

Tony Bennett might have left his heart in San Francisco, but I dont know where I left my charger during my travels. So even though the Barjatyas have taught us dosti ka ek asool hai no sorry no thankyou (No minding of our Ps and Qs when it comes to friendship)I am sending out a biiigg soorry to all whom I didnt call back and a bigger thank you to Doha, Sydney, Brisbane, Delhi, Singapore, Bombay, Jaipur and its denizens for hospitality and love beyond the call of duty!!!

We are back in Dhaka now, the Baba is back to his I Cant Believe Its Not the Weekend, Mujhey Bilkul Saturday Lag Raha Hai routine. Between his Do I Have to Go to Work and my I Dont Want to Go Out, Im really wondering how we will ever get you to go to school. I have broached the idea of home schooling with many people wise and experienced but have not had any positive feed back. I did hear one of the Nobel Laureates (Physics) from this year speaking about being home schooled and there was some talk of lumber jacks as well, but for the moment we are enjoying you swim (literally) through the wading pool of life.

Yesterday was Victory Day in Bangladesh, and the Pakistani-Indians decided to do their bit by adding to the city's GNP and shopping for plants. We were accosted by a sea of green and red, as the whole city proudly wore their national colours. With the green and red of the holiday season it is a merry time of the year indeed. The Supreme Court of Pakistan has thrown out the NRO, Geo TV is playing Yeh Kiya Hua as Zardari and his stooges look pensively, the good Saiguni has fried some hot bhaji without even being told(I thank the Good Lord for Gman, you and her EVERY DAY!), and a Christmas tree you had been gifted during your travels is up and twinkling.

Happy Happy Ten and a Half Months Sweet Heart and thankyou for all the happiness you bring us.
Your loving Adey