We are rushing towards Month Eighteen,on the 31st he will be just six months away from officially being a Terrible Two. Crikey!thats scary. I guess time flies when you are changing pampers. Some of the highlights from this month:
1)Listen Up: When people far wiser than you say something LISTEN. Dont be smug and tell yourself Well our child will be Far More Reasonable or Of course I will have far more patience, this is the light of my eyes, the thandak of my kaleja we are talking about. I was warned. Even then I let that infernal Bubbles enter my house and the @#$$ monkey is now the stuff a mother's worst nightmare is made of. Bubbles Gets Lost (but not lost enough), Bubbles is Careless, he finds a Red Ball and he litters a park. And there is a liberal dose of Mummyyyyy and Yippee. So the father and me live in a state of trepidation, we cower behind doors as a set of footsteps come marching purposely towards us. Mummmyy!! Ball? Ball? He knows when we cheat and skip pages, taking us back and pointing with a schoolmarmish expression "Perhaps we could go over this again hmmm?" Once more with feeling I say.
I earnestly believe that ALL this is an evil conspiracy. I am sure hidden between the pages are some subversive images that play with toddler's minds, get them addicted to the darned monkey, and train them in threatening a melt down unless the book is read an exact 996 times before sun down. One day that evil monkey is going to rule our world I warn you.
2) Houston we have a problem. But we are not admitting it. We all know about Katrina and her incredible skills of making fussy eaters gobble their food (I have a pet theory that Katrina and Deepika will make fantastic moms...one tantrum from their kids and the father will call out Chal Katrina (deepika) Naach). Meal times at our home find me holding a bowl in hand willing 9XM (yup HAQ SE!!) or as Arhaan calls it Bheegeebilly (all you moms out there know whom I am referring to)to play Paisa Paisa and quick (We are also OK with Oh Girl! You're mine and Prem Ki Nayya....Jee Karda Bhai Jee Karda and Uff Teri Ada??...bows down WE ARE NOT WORTHY!!!) Of course while we wait its tough to know who is crying more, Arhaan or me. Gman did ask me to just buy a CD and play the songs on loop but that would be admitting defeat right? I am quite like the Pakistan government=ostrich head in sand= this way. Its not LIKE a REAL problem, bus one off rogue elements hain and we will soon have them under control. Tomorrow, qasam se. Just this once let it slide.
3) Kora Kagahz Tha: I realize now the pain of not being able to read the written word. Uff its a killer. When not harassing us to read to him Arhaan spends his time holding a book quite close to his face just willing the words to make sense. M...M he mutters, there is the occasional G and S that he remembers from the alphabet I recite to him. Its quite a gut wrenching sight and if I was not hiding from him fearing an onslaught of Bubbles On Demand I might step out and just give him a hug and help him with his reading. But such is the fear of being roped in for Bubbles Duty. We have also seen him turning newspaper pages or his books upside down, perhaps this will do the trick he thinks and the mysterious portal to the reading world will open for me.
He has a hit and miss relationship with numbers as well. He is very articulate with Two and Eight, everything else is a jumble. And then we enter the teens. He has aced them and some. Tha-teen, Fourteen, FUNTEEN, Fifteen.
Yup Kiddo Fun Teens they will be.
We realise that we have been pretty lax with his " skills training". We have promised ourselves that when we return to Dhaka he will start some kind of play school or whatever kids his age are supposed to do. There is so much of sneaking him into workshops the dad is running, hoping that he can get some kind of " training" this way. We are pretty stingy this way.
Play school for really cheap parents
I say we build the shelters right there