Yes as you turn 21 months I realize there is truth in the lyrics yet...life makes you cry one moment and the other second you are squealing with laughter, add to that a mother who deals with her own "the good-the bad- the ugly" and well the end result is a full on emotional roller coaster for you, sweet heart.
So what will stay with me this month:
One evening you were trying to prove some point with my glasses and managed to snap off one of the ear rests. You were pretty shocked at what you had done and just stared at me all stupefied. As ever in life two roads diverged in the wood for me, I know a rational mother would seek guidance from SuperNanny or Dr Spock. But I just asked myself what would Nirupa Roy do now? So I burst out burst out crying holding my glasses, and spent the evening flinging myself on to the pillow or wiping my eyes feeding you dinner. You spent the evening trying to quietly read to yourself and checking on me now and then. Done with giving you a guilt trip I tried to explain the whole deal behind my wearing glasses to you. Thus followed a whole hour of play acting with the spare set of glasses " I cant see you Arhaan" and "Now I can" (borrowing again from Nirupa Roy in the classic scene from Amar, Akbar, Anthony) I think you kind of get what glasses do for me, hence when I try to slip them off as I read you your bedtime story (all the better to nod off and encourage you to go to sleep too) you reprimand me with a stern finger and say "Mama, gachiss ONNN".
Speaking of trying to make you go to sleep at night. The pater is travelling and this coincides with the launch of KBC, putting you to bed duties are alas all mine. Considering I am snoring ten minutes into trying to make you sleep, I have yet to watch an episode in its entirety and only stir to the credits rolling on the screen, you on the other hand have been keeping up with all the episodes and will be soon mastering Trivial Pursuit-the Toddler Edition.
I have been mean to you on other occasions this month, all as I face my own personal demons. You have picked up the habit of waving to planes as we play kick-the ball, the other day you waved and sang "Bye bye plane, come again" and some inner devil made me snap "Lucky for you, you are not growing up in Waziristan and that was a drone above". Totally uncalled for. But it was a good reality check to stop visiting my resentments on you. So earlier today I called a truce and shook hands with you and asked of you Mujh Sey Dosti Karogey? Considering Katrina didnt star in that movie the reference was totally lost on you but you hugged me just the same and I guess we will start the new month afresh.
So what else? Yes, earlier this month your dad got you this from Jessore.
Son Of Dhanno
And so just when I start to question my life choices I realise I must have done something right if my partner makes REAL for our child something that was a childhood dream for me. Yup, sometimes its all about the stuff.
What Dreams May Come!
And a dear sister- of -the -heart found her happily every after this month so yeaaahhh for good things happening to good people. J and B, all my prayers for the journey ahead.
And what happens to me at the end of this story. Well I have kind of embarked on life as a home-based worker. And I tell you, whether its staying at home making papad and paper bags or rolling chapatis and beedis; life is tough. I dont know how they get their work done with kids jumping into the flour or running away with the scissors, but trying to type at your laptop as a kid clambers over the table demanding Thomas Tank Engine or Wakka Wakka NOW and worrying about being paid is no picnic either. And there is bitterness and the Dream of Making My Own Money and let it be something Im passionate about. So this is a call out to all who lurk and might have some ideas. Kindly email me any leads that you think are up my line. I guess anyone who has been reading me all this while knows about my love for popular culture and a filmy view towards politics and more in South Asia!! It will keep a little boy in pampers and the mother in good humour.
For now Im tagging along with The Man to Colombo, as Home Alone had too much dark humour for the kid and me. When I come back a change is gonna come. With the blog header for one. Too many people ruminating about their life and all the somethings in it. Let it be something which declares This is Aneela Z Babar and we have no other branches.