Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Mujhe Kuch Kehna Hai

Yes bahut bahut kehna hai but it has to wait as I am having the worst case of writer's block ever. Which as the Kellog's All Bran ad campaign tells us is an occupational hazard for us post-30 types. You know in addition to not smelling right,
 ending up with blue dots on our sanitary napkins, 
hair fall  at the rate of felling in  Amazon forests,  
condescending friend palming you off with wrinkle creams and unsolicited advice, 
being ignored by BlackBerry husband for you did not moisturize and clean behind your ears when you turned 25,  
 Bipasha Basu hitting us with a juice box every time we sit down for a sandwich, 
 realizing that the only way to ward off lecherous guys ogling down our necklines in the train is to get up and flash our extremely white underarms, 
WE ARE ALSO EXTREMELY BLOCKED UP! 
And that is the reason we are crabby all the time, no, no it is not because of the triple burden that is the bane of our life, it all comes down to andar ki baat .


So if I was not so blocked up (figuratively, bitte!)  I could have written about our weekend trip to Paharpur or as is it's good name  Somapura Mahavihara, where I tried out my new Canon D60 which is quite the super trouper.  And how The Toddler begged us every night while we were at Bogra to  Go Home  I Dont Like This Its No Funny while I cheerfully told him This is Our Home and We Are Staying Here Forever and Ever (Women turn sadistic after 30, Kellogs did warn you!). The Toddler woke up his father to tell him Baba Your Beard Is Turning Green while I woke the man up to mumble Ah, He is Only Acting Up as There Were Two Murders In This Room and my mother told anyone who cared to listen that people should not be given breakfast coupons until they have seen the museum, so all in all we were such a delightful group of travelers.  


And if I was not writer-blocked I could have told you about the time Arhaan stomped off  in Bogra very angry, to encounter a toad, and screamed  "I KNOW YOU"  all very excited , and how we then proceeded to pluck some grass blades and tickle the toad silly.


Or that The Toddler ushered my mother into her room "Welcome, welcome" topping it up with an elaborate flourish "Enjooyyyy". I hear he has a bundle of other interesting things to say too  like "Baba, Children not like milk", but considering most of our conversation has been limited to "do you want to poop?" "Pishi?" "Arhaan , chalo, its time" I would not know. In his mind his mother is interested in all things poop, so he has been very helpful in sharing with me  nuggets like"Mama you know bear do poo poo in leaves IN JUNGLE"


I guess after this  asking you to bear with me until my writer's block is over will be just more toilet humour, hmmm.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Yeh Duniya Agar Mil Bhi Jaaye Tau Kiya Hai



The things we talk about when we are not toilet training: Funny how a singing duck in a bath tub can lead to a heated debate about color (perhaps race too, but I dont want to go down that road this early in the day) , whether fame means never holding a shade card next to your face, and why a man in a silk dressing gown can have people tied up in knots. ( Men other than Raj "Jaani" Kumar, of course).
I have learnt that although the subaltern can now speak , it still needs permission before it can reach out for a maroon dressing gown .

Of course gender complicates my hypothesis about  being this fair before being seen taking a bath on  TV .  For Rekha and Deepika Padukone can play with the suds with no one complaining Haw Hai yeh Kiya Kalyug Agaya.

“Is he famous?” asked the man quite innocently one evening and thus opened a Pandora's Box of  how  white white, ghabroo jawans, can lounge around in tubs without anyone asking So What did You Do to Deserve Getting Into A Tub on Prime Time TV.Somehow gorey gorey log can take a bath anywhere, anytime without having achieved anything in their lives other than a particular shade of skin pigmentation.

And though TV time has been severely rationed for the Toddler, we did wonder whether that restricted time slot too should be  restricted to NatGeo and Discovery alone. This of course brings about its own set of questions, for I know I will only have replaced one kind of skewed reality for another "not quite right" image. Rather than praying  every night that he wakes up all peaches and cream so he too can appear on TV, The Toddler might grow up thinking it is only four-legged flesh eating beasts hurtling through outer space that get to be on TV.

And try as I do, to censor the language of  growing up in this sad mad world of ours where he is concerned, the patios of the world outside does slip in when I am not looking -- the boy already has lapped up certain social cues as to what constitutes as "polite society" . So to my disappointment I found him screaming...but perhaps you need a background to this story first. So let me start afresh. 


It was my birthday on the 4th and befitting the day the mother slipped in a Ben Franklin or two. I  did know that I was going to  put the money to good use shopping for metal handicrafts in a town we were planning to visit later in the week. The town is Savar--home to Dhamrai and the interesting art of carving metal figuirines through wax melting. (I am putting up some pictures of the beautiful mansion which has now been converted to a workshop cum sale centre--this is Sukanta's Dhamrai metal crafts).



Chess set, but then you guessed that. Somehow I dont blame the old gentlemen in  Shatranj Ke Khiladi any more for shutting out the outside world if they had something as beautiful to work/play with


Oh the tales all these old receipts/cash memos can tell


The artisan carves into the wax sculpture, later they  will cover it with clay. The mould will be put into the hearth so the wax melts and the crevices will now be filled with molted metal. Later the clay structure broken to reveal the metal sculpture. Or steps to that effect.




This particular gentleman  was responsible for  making all the  curlicues  and baubles that are attached to the larger pieces


These are the smaller figurines comfortable with their "also appearing" credit billing in the larger commissioned pieces


and my little sher flaunts manners and decides to ride the Asian tiger




Dear High Heel Confidential, Further proof that being well dressed comes with many a stress drama
So this is the beautiful Saraswati I bought with my birthday money --long term readers will know by now the significance behind this purchase. I am very fond of it and later in the evening  I shared it with Arhaan hoping it was the start of a beautiful love affair for him as well, and he screams Where Tshirt? Tell her put on Tshirt.
I know it is too soon for him to reach out for the khaki shorts and gainjee but I am worried about the new moral policing in my life.

so this has been my week so far, and you?