Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Yeh Jeevan Hai Is Jeevan Ka ...


yahi hai rangroop..
indeed.
There are days when I wake up with so much good cheer. Feeling so incredibly blessed --which is very unusual for me come March. If I am not sneezing my innards out, there is this feeling of dread Kal Exam Hai that spring flowers bring to my life, though it HAS been over two decades since ink pots and test boards (do kids still carry test boards?) bloomed in the flower beds for me, come daffodil season.  Delhi is a beautiful , beautiful city to be come spring, and for someone who has been craving for some "culture" I am spoiled for choice. though I dont know how keen Delhi is on my inner Aunty ji (I was the one tut tutting  when Sharmila Tagore lit the welcome lamp for Abida Parveen " haw hai abhi tou Nawab sahib ki qabr bhi thandhi nahi hogi")

But all this haha hee hee haw hai has been marred (or perhaps marred is too strong a term? angst, fear too, being a colour of life) by Arhaan's ill health. And Dear Reader, this brings me to why I have returned to blogging after such a long hiatus. I repeat RETURNING to blogging. Not staying away. Happiness, and being smug about my Delhi life kept me away. Acknowledging the haven that this world of words has been, and how it provided me with that spark /the light bulb moment I needed that scary Monday morning, brings me back to you.

Arhaan had a febrile seizure and if this blogger turned soul sister had not blogged about her experience with her boy's seizure a while ago, I am pretty sure I might not have recognized it for what it was and perhaps made things worse.

I understand why some of you may have decided to step back, and save your words for That Volcano Moment ...you know the bit when the lava cools down and you have shiny gems and fertile earth (see how I am still trying to attempt Geography Question Number 7: Write about the benefits of volcanoes), yes yes the first time I read about "silence within the soul" I said What Sentimental New Age Crap.  I am though coming around to understanding what you felt when you wrote those words, Shazaf. But perhaps you live in a world where there is a lot of background noise and you need to withdraw, mull over your own words, and then have your Writer's Moment. 

I dont.

My blog started out as having those conversations with Arhaan which I thought I would never have (go back to the first ten minutes of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai) ...but in turn I ended up having these exchanges with the League of Super Moms and there was this whole village that ended up raising my kid. For I realise I live in a world where most of my significant relationships are now conducted in cyber space. Where the dad tucks the kid into bed over skype, and thats how the grandmother made sure I was feeding her grandson OK. So I just cannot retreat within myself and take a sabbatical from the broadband. I have bid adieu to the TV (horror!) but it would be mommy hara kiri if I bid goodbye to the blog. I confess that I have not been able to find any of My People the way my mom's generation would have. Most of my close friends are people I might have befriended through the "social networks". Yes , yes how silly flipping the equation around. But that is the way it is. 

And in the end it comes down to this. None of my "real people" shared their children's horror stories regards seizures with me. Yes, once I discussed Arhaan's episode there have been so many of them crawling out of the woodwork telling me about their Incidents. Arey! So yes I will be forever grateful for what this blog has brought to my life. For frankly it kept me sane during that scary minute.

My blog doesnt have much readership. But if there is that One Person out there needing succor , needing some laughs as we traipse the world of Raising Kid, well I will keep plodding along. 

And I know I was supposed to write about life in Delhi. And the flowers. And the music. And the new friends . REAL FRIENDS. Like the kind of friends who come over and play with your kid, and you can stay up late night with. And all courtesy my "online life" I must confess. And friends who know Pushto! Yeah.  And I  can dream of having a fortnightly salon where we all sit in my living room and WE HAVE IMPORTANT GROWNUP DISCUSSIONS (interspersed with Arhaan giving us his poop updates, and the many many kind of poop. Also very important!)

And also how there are two Chambas in India. And neither hosts two friends, a tonga walli, a dacoit who wants to do a head count, and a man with no arms.

But that too has to wait.

for now

Kids get febrile seizures. Give them sponge baths, give them ibuprofen, welcome antibiotics into your life. Toto, we are are not in Kansas any more, these are desi bugs and they need industrial strength medicines. 
Kids also get over it. And memories of hospital stays fade over time, and you start making holiday  plans.
THIS IS LIFE.

...and now as Anand Bakshi put it.
Yeh jeevan hai, iss jeevan ka / Yehi hai, yehi hai, yehi hai rang-roop / Thode ghum hain, thodi khushiyan / Thode ghum hain, thodi khushiyan 

Chalo go listen!



10 comments:

  1. So awesome that you've found such great friends on the interwebs. I follow you on twitter and have read your blog for a fairly long time, and I think all the old bloggers like you need to stay. Sometimes, I imagine reading someone's blog from say, 2005 to 2025.. what an amazing journey that'll be.

    Lots of love to Arhaan.

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  2. Dear Aneela,
    This is beautiful. We all have our reasons for not writing, writing, or choosing when to write. And the online life, with its support system and friendships, cannot be tossed aside casually as it once was. I've been on a blog-fast for about two weeks now and I've managed to write two chapters. So for my purposes, it works. But I hope Arhaan is doing well. One day, he can look back at his mum's words on this blog and be incredibly proud to come from such an amazing woman.

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  3. Agree with what you've said about finding the right friends. The internet offers so many more possibilities, just that right amount of distance or pause for breath between conversations, and the ability to interact with people with similar values. And the great thing is, I haven't stopped looking for those friends in the 'real world'... that search continues, for it provides a different sort of emotional sustenance. But it's these interactions that keep me going on most days.

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  4. Hi Aneela:

    Sorry to hear about little Arhaan's health. Am sure it would have been a challenging time. Hope he is better now. More importantly, how are you doing?

    I have been a regular reader of your blog. I really hope that you will continue blogging. Loved reading your posts because there are so many common things that we share (love for research, experiences of Delhi, the desi tadka added to one's writing, to name a few). Yet at the same time, your posts opened me to a world that I had never experienced (journeys to different parts of the world, the milestones in one's child's life, life in Pakistan, etc.).

    All in all, it was an experience that swung from "hey I know what you mean" to "wow that is interesting".

    One feels a bit of sadness when some of the blogs that one used to regularly follow have closed down. Of course, each person has his or her reason to discontinue writing. And as a reader (and a non-blogger) one should respect the reason. But I can only hope that you continue writing. I always try to comment on every post. This is my small way of saying, "thank you for enriching these few minutes of my day".

    Ending with warm wishes

    Anu

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  5. Mera sher toh ab bilkul chusth-durusth hai na?
    Ab tum ghabrayee huee toh nahin ho?
    As you so rightly write- yeh jeevan hai.......
    All the best and tons of love. We'll meet in June, if not before.

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  6. Mera sher toh ab bilkul chusth-durusth hai na?
    Ab tum ghabrayee huee toh nahin ho?
    As you so rightly write- yeh jeevan hai.......
    All the best and tons of love. We'll meet in June, if not before.

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  7. i'm so sorry to hear that arhaan was sick :( hope he's all better now.
    and seriously, yay for bloggy friends. big hug to one of my favorites!

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  8. Im delurking for the very first time to say, YES, these connections right there are what I blog for. No, Im not a mommy blogger, but the sheer joy of knowing that there are people out there separated by the vast internet who feel, experiences, laugh, cry and do all the things you do, which sometimes people in your real life circle dont share with you! And somehow that makes all the distances go away. I hope you stay and give us many many more stories.

    And lots of love and good health juju for Arhaan :)

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  9. So sorry about Arhaan's illness! He'll be in my prayers -- and you, too, Lady Aneela.
    Loved the blog post as well :)

    By the way, I recently learned that dogs can sense seizure. If you don't have one, I'd recommend getting one (but I assume you already knew this bit about dogs! I didn't, so ...)!

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  10. Sense seizure 10 minutes before it occurs, that is **

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