Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Sab Bhijwa Do. Mera Woh Saaman Lauta Do

Dear God ji,

No. No. I am not one of those. I am not going to start with ..BUT WHAT KIND OF GOD WOULD ALLOW THIS?

Or ask you to answer a "But Islam tou kehta hai"

Listen na!

Watch me, watch me
See, see. I am not even embarking on a theological-social-political-geostrategic-land rights-generational Islam approach towards ...oh I am not even asking you a YE KIYA HO RAHA HAI. Arey nary a mention of Wahabism, no Iran, no blaming Zia, Fevicol. Oye, wo sab gaye tel leyne. Sorry, I meant oil ki pipelines lene. I don't want to understand anything, no no, dont whisper me the identity of NaMaloom Afrad. None of this.

All I am asking God ji for is a return of 

1) School. Urdu class. Mrs Mustafa. Of waiting for Muharram and asking her for water breaks. UNLIMITED WATER BREAKS. Na kareyngi. Yazid Hain Kiya? Now, when someone speaks of her, they speak of the bomb that was lobbed at her house. "Why do they have to  fly the alam over their house? Iran hai kiya?" God ji, of course we understand all this now. Women Ask For It When They Wear Mini Skirts, Houses Too When They Wear An Alam. Mrs. Mustafa, Satellite Dishes Are OK I hear.  But you know me God ji, sometimes I think Mrs Mustafa would rather risk little girls emotionally blackmailing her into bunking classes for they are suddenly thirsty. So, if you could just...

2) Our self righteousness. Hum. Yes, go ahead, hum a tune. Crack a joke. Hawwwww, Muharram hai! You are singing, laughing! Now, we are such good Muslims, who wastes their piety on a colour-fragrance-music detox. But if just for a day, we could...

3) Khushbakht Shujaat. The ten minutes of dismay as you put on the TV to her and her coterie of black and white. Oho wasnt today an episode of...? Oh Ashura, Majlis on TV, phir  the drama postponed till next week? Then, what do we?..Enthusiasm dwindling. Yes, if this Ashura if you could please return that listlessness instead of this  feeling of dread as we approach the TV , this, this sickening, sinking, sinking, feeling as news starts coming in...

4) Of when we would just spit in each other's food. Or not. Did they? Oh but the rice tastes so good, omnom, hai do they? But its so delicious, omnomnomnom. Chalo, for sharing their suspect rice and haleem for so long, we feed them with  bullets, do a tadka of bombs. Let it not be said we dont repay our debts, but if sometimes we could just return to food and our litany of So do they? Really? In This? Omnomnomnom.

5) When you could if  you were asked "But Are You Shia? Fasting, No Music, No New Clothes" 
wave them off with a
But My Grandmother Is From Quetta and Even If You Are Sunni In That City You...

You What?
Hmm. You What?

Tell Me na God,

You have hidden all my answers from me, release them please?

All these memories are mine, you know that. May I have them back for one afternoon?  Will you return them. Now?Now??


  1. Aneela - I am from India, and there were many many references here that I had to google (aalam, for instance). A few which I still don't get. But, I do get the sentiment...and it's as much mine as it is yours...

  2. ONE OF MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE SONGS! Now I will read the post after getting that out of my system. Aik sau sola chaand ki raatein....

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